YOUCAT Lesson 425
YOUCAT the
catechism for Catholic youth
425 What does the Church
have against “Marriage without the certificate”?
For Catholics there is no marriage without a church
wedding. In that ceremony Christ enters
into a covenant with the husband and the wife and generously endows the couple
with graces and gifts. [2390-2391]
Older individuals sometimes think they should advise young
people to have nothing to do with ceremonies with vows. In their opinion, a marriage is just a rash
attempt to combine incomes, perspectives, and good intentions while at the same
time publicly making promises that cannot be kept. A Christian marriage is not a game, however, but rather the greatest gift God has
devised for a man and a woman who love each other. God himself unites them at a depth that man
could not achieve. Jesus Christ, who
said, “Apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5), is present in a lasting way in the sacrament of
Matrimony. He is the love in the love of
the spouses. His strength is still
there, even when the strength of the lovers seems to dry up. That is why the sacrament of Matrimony is
anything but a piece of paper. It is
like a divine and seaworthy vessel that the loving couple can board—a ship that
the bride and groom know carries enough fuel to bring them with God’s help to
their longed-for destination. Whereas
today many people say that there is nothing wrong with uncommitted premarital
sex or extramarital relations, the Church invites us to resist this societal
pressure clearly and forcefully.
“Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more
than this comes from the Evil One.” Matthew 5:37
“I take you to be my wife/husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and
in bad, in sickness and in health. I
will love you and honor you all the days of my life.” Vow formula in the sacrament of Matrimony.
[2390-2391]
Other offenses against
the dignity of marriage
2390 In a so-called free union, a man and a woman refuse to give juridical and public form to a liaison involving sexual intimacy. –Catechism of the Catholic Church, Second Edition
The
expression "free union" is fallacious: what can "union"
mean when the partners make no commitment to one another, each exhibiting a
lack of trust in the other, in himself, or in the future? –CCC
The
expression "free union" covers a number of different situations: concubinage, rejection of
marriage as such, or inability to make long-term commitments.183 All
these situations offend against the dignity of marriage; they destroy the very
idea of the family; they weaken the sense of fidelity. They are contrary to the
moral law. The sexual act must take place exclusively within marriage. Outside
of marriage it always constitutes a grave sin and excludes one from sacramental
communion. --CCC
2391 Some
today claim a "right to a
trial marriage" where there is an intention of getting
married later. However firm the purpose of those who engage in premature sexual
relations may be, "the fact is that such liaisons can scarcely ensure
mutual sincerity and fidelity in a relationship between a man and a woman, nor,
especially, can they protect it from inconstancy of desires or whim." (Congregation for the Doctrine
of the Faith, Persona humana 7.)184 Carnal union is morally legitimate only
when a definitive community of life between a man and woman has been
established. Human love does not tolerate "trial marriages." It
demands a total and definitive gift of persons to one another. (Compare Familiaris
Consortio 80.)185 --CCC
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