269. “Separation from bed and board”

YOUCAT Catechism + Catechism of the Catholic Church Lesson 269

Ave Maria series

269  May a husband and wife who are always fighting get a divorce?

The Church has a great respect for the ability of a person to keep a promise and to bind himself into lifelong fidelity.  She takes people at their word.  Every marriage can be endangered by a crisis. Talking things over together, prayer (together), and often therapeutic counseling as well can open up ways out of the crisis.  Above all, remembering that in a sacramental marriage there is always a third party to the bond—Christ—can kindle hope again and again.  Someone for whom marriage has become unbearable, however, or who may even be exposed to spiritual or physical violence, may divorce.  This is called a “separation from bed and board”, about which the Church must be notified.  In these cases, even though the common life is broken off, the marriage remains valid. [1629, 1649]

It is 50 years and counting since Rose and I were married in 1968.  Through the years, especially our senior years, Rose has always been quick to say, “I’m sorry.”  It was difficult for me to apologize, even though my heart blamed me. Now, in my senior years, I have learned from Rose how important it is to quickly step forward with a heartfelt apology.…..269

Indeed, there are also cases in which the crisis in a marriage ultimately goes back to the fact that one spouse or both was not eligible at the time of the wedding or did not fully consent to the marriage.  Then the marriage is invalid in the canonical (legal) sense.  In such cases an annulment procedure can be introduced at the diocesan tribunal.  424

“Yet the divorced and remarried continue to belong to the Church, which accompanies them with special concern and encourages them to live as fully as possible the Christian life through regular participation in the Mass, albeit without receiving communion, listening to the word of God, Eucharistic adoration, prayer, participation in the life of the community, honest dialogue with a priest or spiritual director, dedication to the life of charity, works of penance, and commitment to the education of their children (paragraph 29).  Benedict XVI, Sacramentum Caritatis

[1629, 1649]

MATRIMONIAL CONSENT

1629For this reason (or for other reasons that render the marriage null and void) the Church, after an examination of the situation by the competent ecclesiastical tribunal, can declare the nullity of a marriage, i.e., that the marriage never existed. (Compare Codex Iuris Canonici, cann. 1095-1107)¹³² In this case the contracting parties are free to marry, provided the natural obligations of a previous union are discharged. (Compare Codex Iuris Canonici, can. 1071.)¹³³ –Catechism of the Catholic Church, Second Edition

1649 Yet there are some situations in which living together becomes practically impossible for a variety of reasons. In such cases the Church permits the physical separation of the couple and their living apart. The spouses do not cease to be husband and wife before God and so are not free to contract a new union. In this difficult situation, the best solution would be, if possible, reconciliation. The Christian community is called to help these persons live out their situation in a Christian manner and in fidelity to their marriage bond which remains indissoluble. (Compare Familiaris Consortio 83; Codex Iuris Canonici, cann. 1151-1155.)¹⁵⁹ --CCC

People Marriage Don and Rose