269 THE MARRIAGE BOND

YOUCAT Lesson 269

YOUCAT the catechism for Catholic youth

269  May a husband and wife who are always fighting get a divorce?

The Church has a great respect for the ability of a person to keep a promise and to bind himself into lifelong fidelity.  She takes people at their word.  Every marriage can be endangered by a crisis. Talking things over together, prayer (together), and often therapeutic counseling as well can open up ways out of the crisis.  Above all, remembering that in a sacramental marriage there is always a third party to the bond—Christ—can kindle hope again and again.  Someone for whom marriage has become unbearable, however, or who may even be exposed to spiritual or physical violence, may divorce.  This is called a “separation from bed and board”, about which the Church must be notified.  In these cases, even though the common life is broken off, the marriage remains valid.  [1629, 1649]

Photo: …..It is 48 years and counting since Rose and I were married in 1968.  Through the years, especially our senior years, Rose has always been quick to say, “I’m sorry.”  Frequently, those words were said by her when it was I who should have said, “I’m sorry.”  It has always been difficult for me to say those words, but I am getting better at it.  In fact, now when I sense disagreement on the horizon I seek to minimize my position to be of little or no value and the matter quickly passes.  Better yet, it is forgotten. …..269

Indeed, there are also cases in which the crisis in a marriage ultimately goes back to the fact that one spouse or both was not eligible at the time of the wedding or did not fully consent to the marriage.  Then the marriage is invalid in the canonical (legal) sense.  In such cases an annulment procedure can be introduced at the diocesan tribunal.  424

“Yet the divorced and remarried continue to belong to the Church, which accompanies them with special concern and encourages them to live as fully as possible the Christian life through regular participation in the Mass, albeit without receiving communion, listening to the word of God, Eucharistic adoration, prayer, participation in the life of the community, honest dialogue with a priest or spiritual director, dedication to the life of charity, works of penance, and commitment to the education of their children (paragraph 29).  Benedict XVI, Sacramentum Caritatis

III. MATRIMONIAL CONSENT

…….1629   For this reason (or for other reasons that render the marriage null and void) the Church, after an examination of the situation by the competent ecclesiastical tribunal, can declare the nullity of a marriage, i.e., that the marriage never existed. (Compare Codex Iuris Canonici, cann. 1095-1107)¹³²   In this case the contracting parties are free to marry, provided the natural obligations of a previous union are discharged. (Compare Codex Iuris Canonici, can. 1071.)¹³³ –Catechism of the Catholic Church, Second Edition

…….1649   Yet there are some situations in which living together becomes practically impossible for a variety of reasons. In such cases the Church permits the physical separation of the couple and their living apart. The spouses do not cease to be husband and wife before God and so are not free to contract a new union. In this difficult situation, the best solution would be, if possible, reconciliation. The Christian community is called to help these persons live out their situation in a Christian manner and in fidelity to their marriage bond which remains indissoluble. (Compare Familiaris Consortio 83; Codex Iuris Canonici, cann. 1151-1155.)¹⁵⁹ --CCC