268 MIXED MARRIAGE AND DISPARITY OF CULT

YOUCAT Lesson 268

YOUCAT the catechism for Catholic youth

268  Can a Catholic Christian marry a person from another religion?

For Catholic believers, to enter into and live in marriage with a person who belongs to another religion can cause difficulties for their own faith and for their future children.  Given her responsibility for the faithful, the Church has therefore established the impediment of disparity of religion.  Such a marriage can therefore be contracted validly only if a dispensation from this impediment is obtained before the wedding.  The marriage is not sacramental.  [1633-1637]

…….35mm slide above: …..Sunset at our Flambeau River farm home.  Here 10 children were raised by theirmixed marriage parents.  Little Richard (b. 1939) died a baptized newborn of just 9 days. …..268

Mixed marriages and disparity of cult

…….1633   In many countries the situation of a mixed marriage (marriage between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic) often arises. It requires particular attention on the part of couples and their pastors. A case of marriage with disparity of cult (between a Catholic and a non-baptized person) requires even greater circumspection. –Catechism of the Catholic Church, Second Edition

…….1634   Difference of confession between the spouses does not constitute an insurmountable obstacle for marriage, when they succeed in placing in common what they have received from their respective communities, and learn from each other the way in which each lives in fidelity to Christ. But the difficulties of mixed marriages must not be underestimated. They arise from the fact that the separation of Christians has not yet been overcome. The spouses risk experiencing the tragedy of Christian disunity even in the heart of their own home. Disparity of cult can further aggravate these difficulties. Differences about faith and the very notion of marriage, but also different religious mentalities, can become sources of tension in marriage, especially as regards the education of children. The temptation to religious indifference can then arise. –CCC

…….1635   According to the law in force in the Latin Church, a mixed marriage needs for liceity the express permission of ecclesiastical authority.(Compare Codex Iuris Canonici, can. 1124.)¹³⁷    In case of disparity of cult an express dispensation from this impediment is required for the validity of the marriage.(Compare Codex Iuris Canonici, can. 1086.)¹³⁸    This permission or dispensation presupposes that both parties know and do not exclude the essential ends and properties of marriage; and furthermore that the Catholic party confirms the obligations, which have been made known to the non-Catholic party, of preserving his or her own faith and ensuring the baptism and education of the children in the Catholic Church.(Compare Codex Iuris Canonici, can. 1125.)¹³⁹ –CCC

…….1636   Through ecumenical dialogue Christian communities in many regions have been able to put into effect a common pastoral practice for mixed marriages. Its task is to help such couples live out their particular situation in the light of faith, overcome the tensions between the couple's obligations to each other and towards their ecclesial communities, and encourage the flowering of what is common to them in faith and respect for what separates them. –CCC

…….1637   In marriages with disparity of cult the Catholic spouse has a particular task: "For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband."(1 Corinthians 7:14.)¹⁴⁰    It is a great joy for the Christian spouse and for the Church if this "consecration" should lead to the free conversion of the other spouse to the Christian faith.(Compare 1 Corinthians 7:16.)¹⁴¹   Sincere married love, the humble and patient practice of the family virtues, and perseverance in prayer can prepare the non-believing spouse to accept the grace of conversion. --CCC

267 THE MIXED MARRIAGE

YOUCAT Lesson 267

YOUCAT the catechism for Catholic youth

267  What should be done if a Catholic wants to marry a non-Catholic Christian?

Church approval must be obtained for the wedding.  This is because a so-called “mixed” (that is, interdenominational) marriage requires from both partners a special fidelity to Christ, so that the scandal of Christian division, which has still not been remedied, does not continue in miniature and perhaps even lead to giving up the practice of the faith.  [1633-1637]

Photo: …..My parents Julian and Irma 1922 wedding photo.  Julian was Catholic and Irma was Methodist.  Their 10 children were baptized and raised Catholic.  Irma converted to Catholicism late in life.  However, when still a Methodist she guided our personal values by citing her “Methodist childhood up-bringing.” …..267

DISPENSATION  A dispensation in Catholic canon law is an exemption from a Church law.  The authority competent to issue a dispensation is the local bishop or the Apostolic See.

Mixed marriages and disparity of cult

…….1633   In many countries the situation of a mixed marriage (marriage between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic) often arises. It requires particular attention on the part of couples and their pastors. A case of marriage with disparity of cult (between a Catholic and a non-baptized person) requires even greater circumspection. –Catechism of the Catholic Church, Second Edition

…….1634   Difference of confession between the spouses does not constitute an insurmountable obstacle for marriage, when they succeed in placing in common what they have received from their respective communities, and learn from each other the way in which each lives in fidelity to Christ. But the difficulties of mixed marriages must not be underestimated. They arise from the fact that the separation of Christians has not yet been overcome. The spouses risk experiencing the tragedy of Christian disunity even in the heart of their own home. Disparity of cult can further aggravate these difficulties. Differences about faith and the very notion of marriage, but also different religious mentalities, can become sources of tension in marriage, especially as regards the education of children. The temptation to religious indifference can then arise. –CCC

…….1635   According to the law in force in the Latin Church, a mixed marriage needs for liceity the express permission of ecclesiastical authority.(Compare Codex Iuris Canonici, can. 1124.)¹³⁷    In case of disparity of cult an express dispensation from this impediment is required for the validity of the marriage.(Compare Codex Iuris Canonici, can. 1086.)¹³⁸    This permission or dispensation presupposes that both parties know and do not exclude the essential ends and properties of marriage; and furthermore that the Catholic party confirms the obligations, which have been made known to the non-Catholic party, of preserving his or her own faith and ensuring the baptism and education of the children in the Catholic Church.(Compare Codex Iuris Canonici, can. 1125.)¹³⁹ –CCC

…….1636   Through ecumenical dialogue Christian communities in many regions have been able to put into effect a common pastoral practice for mixed marriages. Its task is to help such couples live out their particular situation in the light of faith, overcome the tensions between the couple's obligations to each other and towards their ecclesial communities, and encourage the flowering of what is common to them in faith and respect for what separates them. –CCC

…….1637   In marriages with disparity of cult the Catholic spouse has a particular task: "For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband."(1 Corinthians 7:14.)¹⁴⁰    It is a great joy for the Christian spouse and for the Church if this "consecration" should lead to the free conversion of the other spouse to the Christian faith.(Compare 1 Corinthians 7:16.)¹⁴¹   Sincere married love, the humble and patient practice of the family virtues, and perseverance in prayer can prepare the non-believing spouse to accept the grace of conversion. --CCC

266 THE CATHOLIC WEDDING

YOUCAT Lesson 266

YOUCAT the catechism for Catholic youth

266  How is a Church wedding celebrated?

As a rule, the wedding must take place publicly.  The bride and groom are questioned as to their intention to marry.  The priest or deacon blesses their rings.  The bride and groom exchange their rings and mutually promise “to be true in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health” and vow to each other: “I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.”  The celebrant ratifies the wedding and administers the blessing.  [1621-1624, 1663]

Photo: …..At a family wedding, my brother-in-law Fred (right) gives his daughter Frances to Donald at the beginning of their wedding Mass. …..266

Here are some excerpts from one form of the Rite of Catholic Marriage: Celebrant: “N. and N., have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?”  Bride and bridegroom: “Yes.”  Celebrant: “Will you love and honor each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives?”  Bride and bridegroom: “Yes.”  The celebrant then asks the bride and bridegroom together the following questions. “Will you accept children lovingly from God and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?”  Bride and bridegroom: “Yes.”

 “Difference of confession between the spouses does not constitute an insurmountable obstacle for marriage, when they succeed in placing in common what they have received from their respective communities, and learn from each other the way in which each lives in fidelity to Christ.”  CCC, 1634

A traditional Catholic wedding includes a Nuptial Mass.

II. THE CELEBRATION OF MARRIAGE

…….1621   In the Latin Rite the celebration of marriage between two Catholic faithful normally takes place during Holy Mass, because of the connection of all the sacraments with the Paschal mystery of Christ.(Compare Sacrosanctum Concilium 61.)¹²⁰    In the Eucharist the memorial of the New Covenant is realized, the New Covenant in which Christ has united himself for ever to the Church, his beloved bride for whom he gave himself up.(Compare Lumen Gentium 6.)¹²¹    It is therefore fitting that the spouses should seal their consent to give themselves to each other through the offering of their own lives by uniting it to the offering of Christ for his Church made present in the Eucharistic sacrifice, and by receiving the Eucharist so that, communicating in the same Body and the same Blood of Christ, they may form but "one body" in Christ.(Compare 1 Corinthians 10:17.)¹²² –Catechism of the Catholic Church, Second Edition

…….1622   "Inasmuch as it is a sacramental action of sanctification, the liturgical celebration of marriage . . . must be, per se, valid, worthy, and fruitful."(Familiaris Consortio 67.)¹²³    It is therefore appropriate for the bride and groom to prepare themselves for the celebration of their marriage by receiving the sacrament of penance. --CCC

…….1623   According to Latin tradition, the spouses as ministers of Christ's grace mutually confer upon each other the sacrament of Matrimony by expressing their consent before the Church. In the tradition of the Eastern Churches, the priests (bishops or presbyters) are witnesses to the mutual consent given by the spouses,(Compare Corpus Canonum Ecclesiarum Orientalium, can. 817.)¹²⁴   but for the validity of the sacrament their blessing is also necessary.(Compare Corpus Canonum Ecclesiarum Orientalium, can. 828.)¹²⁵  --CCC

…….1623   The various liturgies abound in prayers of blessing and epiclesis asking God's grace and blessing on the new couple, especially the bride. In the epiclesis of this sacrament the spouses receive the Holy Spirit as the communion of love of Christ and the Church.(Compare Ephesians 5:32.)¹²⁶     The Holy Spirit is the seal of their covenant, the ever available source of their love and the strength to renew their fidelity. –CCC

IN BRIEF

…….1663   Since marriage establishes the couple in a public state of life in the Church, it is fitting that its celebration be public, in the framework of a liturgical celebration, before the priest (or a witness authorized by the Church), the witnesses, and the assembly of the faithful. --CCC

265 NOT EVERYONE IS CALLED TO MARRIAGE

YOUCAT Lesson 265

YOUCAT the catechism for Catholic youth

265  Are all people called to marriage?

Not everyone is called to marriage.  Even people who live alone can have fulfillment in life.  To many of them Jesus shows a special way; he invites them to remain unmarried “for the sake of the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 19-12).  [1618-1620]

…….Photo above: …..Pope Francis is embraced by a child at a home for former street children in Manila, Philippines. …..CNS photo,L Osservatore Romano via Reuters. …..265

Many people who live alone suffer from loneliness, which they perceive only as a lack and a disadvantage.  Yet a person who does not have to care for a spouse or a family also enjoys freedom and independence and has time to do meaningful and important things that a married person would never get to.  Maybe it is God’s will that he should care for people for whom no one else cares.  Not uncommonly God even calls such a person to be especially close to him.  This is the case when one senses a desire to renounce marriage ‘for the sake of the kingdom of heaven”.  Of course a Christian vocation can never mean despising marriage or sexuality.  Voluntary celibacy can be practiced only in love and out of love, as a powerful sign that God is more important than anything else.  The unmarried person renounces a sexual relationship but not love; full of longing he goes out to meet Christ the bridegroom who is coming (Matthew 25:6).

“Christ has no hands but ours to do his work today.”  Anonymous, 14^th century

“Cast all your anxieties on him, for he cares about you.”  1 Peter 5:7

“Where you go, I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my God; where you die I will die, and there will I be buried.  May the Lord do so to me and more also if even death parts me from you.”  Ruth 1:16-17

Virginity for the sake of the Kingdom

…….1618   Christ is the center of all Christian life. The bond with him takes precedence over all other bonds, familial or social.(Compare Luke 14:26; Mark 10:28-31.)¹¹³     From the very beginning of the Church there have been men and women who have renounced the great good of marriage to follow the Lamb wherever he goes, to be intent on the things of the Lord, to seek to please him, and to go out to meet the Bridegroom who is coming.(Compare Revelation 14:4; 1 Corinthians 7:32; Matthew 25:6.)¹¹⁴    Christ himself has invited certain persons to follow him in this way of life, of which he remains the model:

"For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to receive this, let him receive it."(Matthew 19:12.)¹¹⁵ –Catechism of the Catholic Church, Second Edition

…….1619   Virginity for the sake of the kingdom of heaven is an unfolding of baptismal grace, a powerful sign of the supremacy of the bond with Christ and of the ardent expectation of his return, a sign which also recalls that marriage is a reality of this present age which is passing away.(Compare Mark 12:25; 1 Corinthians 7:31.)¹¹⁶ –CCC

…….1620   Both the sacrament of Matrimony and virginity for the Kingdom of God come from the Lord himself. It is he who gives them meaning and grants them the grace which is indispensable for living them out in conformity with his will.(Compare Matthew 19:3-12.)¹¹⁷    Esteem of virginity for the sake of the kingdom(Compare Lumen Gentium 42; Perfectae Caritatis 12; Optatam Totius 10.)¹¹⁸   and the Christian understanding of marriage are inseparable, and they reinforce each other:

Whoever denigrates marriage also diminishes the glory of virginity. Whoever praises it makes virginity more admirable and resplendent. What appears good only in comparison with evil would not be truly good. The most excellent good is something even better than what is admitted to be good.(St. John Chrysostom, De virg. 10,1:Patrologia Graeca 48,540; compare John Paul II, Familiaris Consortio 16.)¹¹⁹ --CCC

264 MAN AND WOMAN NEED THE HELP OF THE GRACE OF GOD

YOUCAT Lesson 264

YOUCAT the catechism for Catholic youth

264  What threatens marriages?

What really threatens marriages is sin; what makes them strong is prayer and trust in God’s presence.  [1606-1608]

…….Photo above: …..Nearing their 30^th anniversary, these are my parents, May 1952.  They were Married in Fond du Lac, WI in 1922, Julian was then 25 years old, and Irma had turned 18 just three days earlier.  Julian died in 1986, having been married to Irma sixty-three years .  Irma died a year later.  I was their soldier boy about to leave for Korea when I took this picture. My camera back then had a “peanut flash” resulting in only partial illumination of the photo. …..264

Conflict between men and women, which sometimes reaches the point of mutual hatred in marriages, of all places, is not a sign that the sexes are incompatible; nor is there such a thing as a genetic disposition to infidelity or some special psychological disability for lifelong commitments.  Many marriages, however, are endangered by a lack of communication and consideration.  Then there are economic and societal problems.  The decisive role is played by the reality of sin: envy, love of power, a tendency to quarrel, lust, infidelity, and other destructive forces.  That is why forgiveness and reconciliation, in confession as well, is an essential part of every marriage.

“If we are faithless, he (Jesus Christ) remains faithful—for he cannot deny himself.”  2 Timothy 2:13

Marriage under the regime of sin

……1606   Every man experiences evil around him and within himself. This experience makes itself felt in the relationships between man and woman. Their union has always been threatened by discord, a spirit of domination, infidelity, jealousy, and conflicts that can escalate into hatred and separation. This disorder can manifest itself more or less acutely, and can be more or less overcome according to the circumstances of cultures, eras, and individuals, but it does seem to have a universal character. –Catechism of the Catholic Church, Second Edition

……..1607   According to faith the disorder we notice so painfully does not stem from the nature of man and woman, nor from the nature of their relations, but from sin. As a break with God, the first sin had for its first consequence the rupture of the original communion between man and woman. Their relations were distorted by mutual recriminations;(Compare Genesis 3:12.)⁹⁶   their mutual attraction, the Creator's own gift, changed into a relationship of domination and lust;(Compare Genesis 2:22; Genesis 3:16.)⁹⁷   and the beautiful vocation of man and woman to be fruitful, multiply, and subdue the earth was burdened by the pain of childbirth and the toil of work.(Compare Genesis 1:28; Gen 3:16-19.)⁹⁸ –CCC

…….1608   Nevertheless, the order of creation persists, though seriously disturbed. To heal the wounds of sin, man and woman need the help of the grace that God in his infinite mercy never refuses them.(Compare Genesis 3:21.)⁹⁹    Without his help man and woman cannot achieve the union of their lives for which God created them "in the beginning."