407. The premarital relationships are to be taken seriously.

YOUCAT Catechism + Catechism of the Catholic Church Lesson 407

Ave Maria series

407  Why is the church against premarital sexual relations?

Because she would like to protect love.  A person can give someone else no greater gift than himself.  “I love you” means for both: “I want only you, I want all that you are, and I want to give myself to you forever!”  Because that is so, we cannot, even with our bodies, really say “I love you” temporarily or on a trial basis.  [2350, 2391]

The above is a photo from my home television screen taken several years ago. Former U.S. Senator Bob Dole “broke the ice” on this type of advertising by being a paid spokesman for the Viagra product.

“Sex sells,” is a saying of the advertising industry. We see this in practice every day in America. There would be less “Me, too” heard in America if women didn‘t buy into the leadership of the fashion industry and if men practiced “custody of the eyes.” 



Many people take their premarital relationships seriously.  And yet there are two reservations involved that are incompatible with love: the “exit option” and the fear of a child.  Because love is so great, so sacred, and so unique, the Church teaches young people the obligation to wait until they are married before they start to have sexual relations.  425

“To give your body to another person symbolizes the total gift of yourself to that person.”  --St. John Paul II (1920-2005), meeting with young people in Kampala, Uganda, February 6, 1993

“Young people want great things…Christ did not promise an easy life.  Those who desire comforts have dialed the wrong number.  Rather, he shows us the way to great things, the good, toward an authentic human life.”  Pope Benedict XVI, April 25, 2005

“Experience, too, shows that premarital sexual relations make the choice of the right lifelong partner more difficult rather than easier.  Part of preparation for a good marriage is training and consolidating your character.  You should also cultivate those forms of love and tenderness which are appropriate to the provisional nature of your friendly relationship.  Being able to wait and do without now will make it easier for you later to show loving consideration for your future spouse.”  St. John Paul II, September 8, 1985 in Vaduz, Liechtenstein, to young people.

[2350, 2391]

The various forms of chastity

2350 Those who are engaged to marry are called to live chastity in continence. They should see in this time of testing a discovery of mutual respect, an apprenticeship in fidelity, and the hope of receiving one another from God. They should reserve for marriage the expressions of affection that belong to married love. They will help each other grow in chastity. –Catechism of the Catholic Church, Second Edition

 2391 Some today claim a "right to a trial marriage" where there is an intention of getting married later. However firm the purpose of those who engage in premature sexual relations may be, "the fact is that such liaisons can scarcely ensure mutual sincerity and fidelity in a relationship between a man and a woman, nor, especially, can they protect it from inconstancy of desires or whim." (Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, Persona humana 7)¹⁸⁴ Carnal union is morally legitimate only when a definitive community of life between a man and woman has been established. Human love does not tolerate "trial marriages." It demands a total and definitive gift of persons to one another. (Compare Familiaris Consortio 80.)¹⁸⁵ –CCC

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